Talking about everyone that led me up to you made me think how ridiculous I was to think that could have been it. It seems like the biggest lie to me that I could have thought of anyone else the way I think about you. It has seared a hole in my mind since the last time I saw you three months ago. Three months is a long time, and in three more months I'll be right where I started again--cold and alone. I know I'm going to struggle once December comes around, but I have a good feeling that I'll make it out alive and well. I want to be happy again, I want to love myself.

It's about time I really started to love myself as a human being.